|
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
DECEMBER 2006 We received an invitation to the annual clergy Christmas Party (for Monday, Dec. 4th) given by Bishop Leo Frade and his wife Diana - worded, perhaps for the first time, to include clergy “spouse/guest.” We attended the North Miami event in the beautiful cloisters of the historic, Episcopal Monastery of St. Bernard de Clairvaux. Although there are some very anti-gay clergy and laity in the Diocese of Southeast Florida, we ran into none; the party was exceptional in every way. We were the first to take our place at a table that would minimize Rich’s walking on the hard floor to the buffet. As it turned out, we were situated at a spot that nearly everyone passed. We held court!
Bishop Frade stopped by as he circulated; his wife Diana sat and chatted for a while. Sharing the table for the meal was retired Bishop Cal Schofield (with whom Rich was in seminary for a year) and his wife Elaine, and Robert (a gentle priest all of 82 years old). Additionally, Fr. Jeff and Susan Beebe with their two small sons (in the nursery most of the time) dined with us; we knew them before Jeff went to seminary, and Rich had assisted at their marriage. Another single priest Greg was fulltime trauma chaplain at a West Palm Beach hospital. A number of others stopped by for a “hello.”
Toward the end of the evening a drawing was held. Just as Rich and Cal remarked to each other that they never win anything, Rich’s number was called out; he had won a fifty dollar dining certificate for Carrabba’s, a fine Italian restaurant chain, one of which opened in our region! The whole evening was upbeat; we felt very much among friends and the larger church community. The next day Bob visited John P. in a nearby hospital; with his partner Eddie he participates in Integrity-Palm Beach and often worships on Saturday evenings. Outdoors John had fallen from the top of a ladder which resulted in a smashed knee and broken shoulder. Rich can’t walk on the hospital floors, and, further, he must limit his “retired ministry” to Saturday evenings. Bob prayed with John and administered the laying-on-of-hands with the prayer we both use and love, “Receive the Holy Spirit for your comfort, for strength to cope, and for the healing power of Christ’s love in your life.” Eddie called to thank Bob for his pastoral care. Luncheon was on our calendar the next day at Carl H.’s nearby, refurbished condo. Delightful food and terrific conversation among the three of us! Carl is active in Saint Andrew’s (and Integrity-Palm Beach). He is voracious reader of scholarly philosophical and theological studies. Bob took in the auto show at the West Palm Beach Convention Center on Thursday the 7th. This is so enjoyable for him; Rich stays put at home.
In the evening we attended a reception at the DTR Modern Galleries (which handles Warhol and many others), Worth Avenue, in Palm Beach sponsored by Compass. The event was held to express appreciation to a number of supporters. About 50+ were on hand – many familiar faces and not a moment without conversation or gourmet refreshments! photo
below The periodic Buckler’s “Craft Extravaganza” at the South Florida Fairgrounds is best visited as soon as it opens on Friday at five p.m. Some wonderful, unique talents were exhibited on the 8th. Other than one, hand-painted Christmas ornament, we agreed that we have absolutely no space for anything more!
An excellent Christmas drama for adults (written by Mrs. Margot Emery, convener of Integrity-Palm Beach), took the place of the sermon at the 6 p.m. St. Andrew’s Service. It conveyed beautifully the wonder of the coming Christmas Season. (Integrity does not meet again until the 2nd Saturday of January.) Afterwards, a low-key, festive pot-luck supper provided an opportunity for casual conversations. [On a sour note, there was some applause by a few after the Christmas drama as well some who insist on a “traveling Peace” – both of which interrupt of the spirit of worship; Rich is especially repelled by these disruptive practices. Fortunately, on the 3rd and 4th Saturdays, the liturgies clearly exclude the possibilities of such outbursts.]
The annual “Cocktails for Compass” at Club Colette, Palm Beach, was on our calendar for the 17th. A gathering of 130 feasted, chatted, danced, and listened to a very few, short addresses extolling the work of Compass. Everyone received the same dinner; from the menu: “Jumbo Lump Crabcake with Country Salad,” “Sliced Filet Mignon” with odds and ends, and “Individual Baked Alaska,” plus beverages. We have been there other times and are always amazed that the valets, who provide guests with no tickets of any sort, actually commit to memory who goes with which vehicle; they begin to retrieve a guest’s car as soon as they spot the guest approaching the courtyard to leave. In just moments the car doors are opened by extraordinarily courteous young men. Apparently on a winning streak, we were notified that we won a sitting with a photographer! The result is the new picture on the home page of Our Scrapbook website.
Because some limiting health issues began to turn up at random times, Rich felt that it would be a good time to reduce his Saturday night responsibilities at St. Andrew’s. More of the practicality “to everything there is a season ….!” Effective with January, he retained responsibility for the 3rd and 4th Saturdays; Fr. Paul Rasmus for the 1st; and an assortment of celebrants and preachers for the 2nd – when Integrity gathers. To discuss this change and other parish matters, Paul joined us for lunch in our home on the 19th. We had a most pleasant and fruitful conversation. The Saturday transition was seamless. It was a week before Christmas, and all through the … Publix grocery store, men and women of all ages (including affluent, retired folks) looked grouchy, aggressive, sour and stressed. We went about our shopping - cheerfully, courteously, enjoyably and relaxed. We must have appeared very peculiar to those on edge! In the evening we commented that this was the most serene pre-Christmas week that we’d ever had. Even in recent years there have been Services and sermons to prepare; this year a truly calm Advent. The weekend leading into Monday’s Christmas Day was delightful! Prior to Saturday’s Service, Mike Z. (Events Coordinator at Compass) and his friend, also “Mike,” joined us for lunch at the Saturday buffet offered by the Wellington Country Club; Mike gave us the certificate we won at the Club Colette fund raiser.
Christmas Eve was spent at home with a pleasant evening of catching up with recorded TV programs and snuggling in for a good night’s sleep.
Christmas Day was mixed! The turkey went in the oven at 9:15 a.m. – just before we drove to Saint Andrew’s. It was wonderful for us to be able to sit together as congregants. Our well learned dance around the kitchen produced Christmas dinner shortly after noon – the right time for Rich’s schedule. No low sugar attack on Christmas! After his nap Rich awoke to find Bob dreadfully nauseous with an abdominal (not chest) pain and intestinal symptoms. At 5 o’clock we were able to visit across the street with sisters Jo and Ann and with the latter’s son and daughter-in-law Rob and Debra; we exchange gifts annually. Within a half hour Bob had to dash home, followed by Rich; fierce nausea returned. Bob’s evening was spent in bed uncomfortably with intermittent dozing; Rich was at his side until 8, when he turned in also, with both rooms’ intercoms on. The next day saw some improvement for Bob. Even so, he was in bed most of the day with a slight temperature. On the next day Rich was hit with the same horror. The week was wiped out until the morning of New Year’s Eve! On the 29th our generator operated for just under an hour. For some reason the power in our region shut off midday, and the generator did its job automatically and seamlessly – its first real test! The same day we received an authorized copy of a touching gift in the form of a forwarded email originating with a young man to a good friend at church. He received the weekly announcement of the Saturday Service other than from Rich and wondered if all was well. Assured by the recipient that there was no crisis, he wrote: “Please send him my ‘Get Well’ wishes. Saint Andrews (and Canon Nolan and Bob) will always have a special place in my heart, as it was meeting them and grilling them seriously about the Episcopal church at a Palm Beach County (Gay) Pridefest that moved me to return to the church, and, of course, Saint Andrews was the church that re-welcomed me so openly. I shall never forget that.” A lovely way to close down 2006 and prepare to open our 2007!
Ann and Jo spent a greater part of the afternoon of New Year’s Eve with us. Ordinarily asleep for the midnight “transition,” we were awakened at 11:45 by our dog Tenno’s barking in response to the illegal fireworks. Rich comforted him until they stopped. By then, it was 2007!  Tenno and Comes open their annual Christmas basket from Ann and Jo while the four of us looked on
JANUARY, 2007
Another quiet day at home on New Year’s Day – with a welcome, unrushed call from Ken and Alec, some emails, and a delivery of Ann’s steaming, home-made, lentil soup! A marvelous treat for supper!
President Ford’s televised funeral was very touching. He was an exceptional man of decency, integrity, candor, understated dignity, courage, intelligence, overall humility, and religious modesty - the last such President we can remember who combined these qualities. The grief so evident in Mrs. Ford and her family was devoid of any accompanying theatrics – as were all the observances. What's more, despite the hysterics and awfulness of extreme right-wing Episcopalians (all in the name of “orthodoxy”) the Episcopal Church shone within the National Cathedral liturgy (as well as during the televised Christmas Day Service). President Ford was “one of the last of the moderate Republicans and a vocal supporter of gay rights in his later years. In 2002, he joined the advisory board of the Republican Unity Coalition, a group of gay people and straight allies working for more acceptance of LGBT Americans and issues within the party. At the time, he was asked by lesbian columnist Deb Price if gay couples should receive equal benefits and replied, ‘I think they ought to be treated equally. Period.’” An ideal Republican! In his Cathedral sermon, President Ford’s California rector the Rev. Dr. Robert G. Certain commented, “Early this past summer, as I prepared to leave for the General Convention of the Episcopal Church, President Ford’s concern was for the church he loved. He asked me if we would face schism. After we discussed the various issues we would consider, particularly concerns about human sexuality and the leadership of women, he said he did not think they should be divisive for anyone who lived by the Great Commandments to love God and neighbor. He then asked me to work for reconciliation within the Church. I assured him I would, just as he had worked for reconciliation within the nation thirty years ago.” Peggy Ornell (former lay canon administrator at “Rich’s” Christ Church Cathedral, Hartford) and her spouse Canon Ken Ornell concluded about a 1 year interim ministry at Holy Trinity, WPBeach. Before they left the region in mid-January for an Indiana assignment, we all had lunch at Legal Seafood. With common roots in New England, the four of us share similar perceptions of Southeast Florida and of the Church.
An evening pot luck supper and guest lecture on religion and science at St. Andrew’s was on the calendar for Friday, Epiphany Eve. Margot, hostess of the event, sat the speaker (a very attractive woman probably in her 30s) and her friends/colleagues from Florida Atlantic University (Boca Raton) with us, and we chatted non-stop. It is rare for Rich to have an opportunity to talk here with an academic who shares so many of his academic interests. The parish hall was filled; her presentation was tops!
A return trip to Legal Seafood on Epiphany (Saturday) for an always delightful luncheon with Trish W. – indisputably a close and faithful friend! With no evening church responsibilities, we stayed home with some Netflix entertainment. Ray H. joined us for a noontime Sunday dinner on the 14th followed two days later by our noon (main) meal with by Vance O. and John L.
A window table at the Seawatch Restaurant in Pompano Beach is the lovely setting for our annual luncheon with Eva and Wolfgang H. Eva had taught with Rich in CT; years ago when we lived in Bristol, they gave us a mezuzah – which now greets everyone entering our River Bridge home. We were on hand for their daughter Judy’s marriage to Bob G.; Rich officiated at the ecumenical home Service. Now Bob and Judy (the former on the faculty of MIT, the latter a professor of chemistry at Brandeis) have two young-adult daughters who, like their parents and H. grandparents, excel in everything they undertake.
We learned that the videotaped interview for the ACLU project on ten gay couples is temporarily available at www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmjSQ0GJTW4 and that hopefully by Valentine’s Day it will be at www.10couples.org. At this writing, the latter website remains inactive. On the 3rd Saturday evening of the month Rich led the adult forum at church on Islam. The group of 21 was spirited and inquisitive; it was great to have input from parishioner Fred C., a semi-retired university administrator who has had first-hand experience with Muslim cultures. The next evening we were off to Ft. Lauderdale for a superb dinner in their Fort Lauderdale oceanside, high-rise condo of Bill D. and Mike R. Right after the weekend it was necessary to have a new lawn irrigation pump installed, after eight years of use; we’ve been able to lower our water bills significantly (enough to pay for the equipment and also reduce lawn watering expenses) by connecting to our lake.
Eve F., Director of Gift Planning at our alma mater Trinity College, visited with us mid-morning on Friday the 26th. Much reminiscing and exchanged information.
Two days later New York University’s Erin D. (a Senior Development Officer at the Steinhardt School of the University) joined us for our evening meal and conversation. We were shocked to hear of the death of the 54 year old wife of NYU President John Sexton. Out of the blue, a brain aneurism took her just a week ago. Dr. Sexton could not be present for Monday’s NYU gathering in Boca. So very sad! While chatting with Dr. Debra L. (Senior Vice President for Development and Alumni Relations), Rich mentioned his folder containing his N.Y.U. administrative papers (letter of admissions, research design for his dissertation, vote of the final examining committee recommending that the Ph.D. be granted, a letter from Dr. Cherbonnier, and so on). She suggested that he send the material to the University Archives! Alan Shapiro (NYU’s Director of Gift Planning), who has visited our home in past years) said that he would be glad to receive it and take it to the Archives. Properly bound, it was sent on Feb. 5th. Later in the month Rich was notified that it is “a great asset for NYU” and “our researchers will benefit.”
Tenno’s 12th birthday was on January 30th. He wasn’t pleased with his monthly bath – which, however, he and Comes put up with very well.
FEBRUARY 2007 On Friday the second at St. Andrew’s, the Rev. Harry S. Coverston delivered an evening lecture “Religion, Science and Sex.” Having earned an M.Div. (seminary degree), Ph.D. (scholar), and J.D. (lawyer) – a spectacular combination, he gave permission for posting the lecture in the “All Handouts” section of www.philosophy-religion.org. (We had to leave at the midpoint, because Rich wasn’t feeling well, but fortunately we had the script.)
We “cashed in” our winning Compass certificate with a Sunday afternoon sitting with a very fine West Palm Beach photographer (who has very flexible hours). Our 70th birthdays due at the end of May, we had our picture taken - dressed up far more than we usually prefer. It is amazing what can be done via computer to touch up colors, unwanted folds in a suit coat, razor burn, and stray hairs! With our consent, he plans to use the picture in his ad for the coming PrideFest booklet. Have we, at 70, become “male models”? (photo on website home page.) J A year before we met, Rich enrolled in a post-graduate course at Tabor Academy (MA); the 1954 Tabor summer program preceded the 1954-5 school year. During that summer, Rich and Eugene “Frosty” P. met and decided to room together for the September through May period. Frosty was an excellent student and athlete, and after Tabor completed his B.A. in economics at Harvard. A few years ago they, and Frosty’s wife Nancy, reconnected, and the four of us have been meeting annually for luncheon either at their Delray Beach seasonal home or ours. On Wednesday the 7th (the 5th anniversary of Rich’s heart attack), we joined them at their condo for a lovely luncheon Nancy prepared. Friendships begun over 50 years ago become more precious every year. As with every visit, we talked endlessly (not just about Tabor) but about life as it continues to evolve for us all – including unwelcome medical intrusions! There was an energizing spirit of genuine camaraderie among us. As we left their home, we felt an abiding sense of affection for them and no small degree of awe at the time span that has passed since the mid-1950s. (photos below)
We were invited to a gathering of about two dozen people on Friday (9th) evening at the beautiful home of Ann and Tom J. in Palm Beach for an updating about Trinity College. We were unaware of the somewhat hidden “Everglades Island” setting within the island Town of Palm Beach; man-made several decades ago, the neighborhood consists of a number of homes with lovely water views either toward West Palm Beach or a sizable inlet whose opposite shore is a pleasing-to-the-eye, 18-hole golf course! The photo below includes Trinity’s President Jimmy Jones, who led the “Prayers of the People” at our 50th Anniversary Service at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, N.Y.C., in October of 2005. He spoke briefly of the superbly increased number of applications for admission by top students, the fine progress of the current 300 million dollar capital gifts campaign, and so on. He announced that our evening hosts are endowing a professorial chair in biology – among their several past magnificent gifts to the College. The event was filled with terrific conversations before, during, and after dinner! Trinity is very special to us. As Trinity freshmen, we began our journey together in September, 1955! Without Trinity, we would not have met, and, therefore, our lives would have been wholly different and undoubtedly lacking in every way. The education we received at Trinity was truly the “liberal arts” – studies that liberated us intellectually (and emotionally) so that without ant models for living as a couple, we were able to create a life that was genuine and yet realistically accommodating to employment realities. Moreover, such studies provided us with an introduction to a thoughtful, heartfelt Christianity plus a broad background, such that there has been no such thing as boredom – even during these retirement years. We are “McCook Fellows” at Trinity, a college Society of those who include Trinity in a bequest provision.
Thee annual luncheon for Boston Latin School alumni and friends also met in Palm Beach at the Brazilian Court’s Café Boulard. (www.thebraziliancourt.com)
About 40 heard Head Master Dr. Cornelia Kelley’s report on the oldest public school in the United States (founded in 1635) and the new rigors of the modernized classical curriculum. Alumnus and former Head Master Michael Contompasis, currently Boston’s Superintendent of Schools, addressed us from the broad view of his present post illuminated by insights of a Latin School student and administrator.
During the cocktail hour Cornelia chatted unhurriedly with us, as she does each year; she has always been most gracious. Since we last saw her, Simmons College in Boston, awarded her am honorary doctorate for her outstanding achievements in education. Michael came by, too, and Rich had a chance to exchange a few words with him just before we left. The eldest alumnus was a most likeable 93-year-old chap looking much younger. At our table, seated beside Bob, was a 1937 graduate – the year we were born! A couple who were celebrating 50 years of marriage was on Rich’s right, lovely people with whom we dined last year. One other member of Rich’s 1954 class attended, Eugene O., who sat to Rich’s right in home room!
There was no hint whatsoever that this message from the Head Master would be forthcoming on Friday.
Within the hour of receiving the above announcement, we received an e-mail from Cornelia thanking us for our Valentine (it’s her favorite day) and some warm personal comments. A few hours later the Boston Globe reported:
Friday, February 16, 2007
|
Subsequent to the conclusion of the Anglican Bishops’ gathering in Dar es Salaam on the 19th, Rich had the occasion to write to a concerned parishioner: I just caught up with the stuff and am disappointed - especially with the "recommendations." I regret the time and energies that this ongoing flap will probably take. For myself:
1) Regardless of what the institutional Church is doing,
I remain a unique child of God by my baptism; that is
who I am. I am afraid that we have absolutised "reconciliation" and the notion that "we global Anglicans all need each other" - notions which make for unhelpful rhetoric as realities are faced among those who cannot agree to differ. Sometimes cutting loose from those, however well intended, who might suck the life out of us is necessary. Perhaps the future will allow for a reconnecting. Fortunately, I trust our Presiding Bishop to do what can be done - step by step. But she cannot have a one-item agenda. Nor can we. Life goes on in all of its dimensions - with or without a reasonable involvement in the Anglican Communion. |
After a quiet week, on Sunday evening we enjoyed immensely the dinner/evening company of Lt. Col. Michael M., a former parishioner at St. Paul’s, Bantam. We first came to know Michael as a slender, tall-for-his-age twelve-year-old (now 44) – along with his parents (contemporaries with whom we’ve remained in touch), a younger brother and two sisters. Michael was a loyal acolyte, participant in the youth group, and earnest confirmand. After high school he was off to West Point, marriage, the U.S. Army (including service in Iraq), and, this coming fall, his already announced promotion to full Colonel.
Michael has remained an active, informed Episcopalian and was very complimentary about the religious education he received from Rich. In those days his parishioners received individual pre-Confirmation tutorials using Rich’s “Commentary on the Prayer Book Catechism” (available at www.philosophy-religion.org). Although we had not seen him for at least 20 years, Michael e-mails us an (unclassified) Army update on the Iraq war weekly. How touching it is that during his heavily scheduled business trip to Miami, he spent an evening with us for a welcome, non-stop conversation!
Michael with two old men!
On
the last day of the month Rich received an e-mail from the
Episcopal News Service listing Anglican world news links
since February 21st. Among them was a report that the
Lambeth Palace Library (London) has listed
many of its holdings. A search located his first
(edited) book The Diaconate Now residing at
the library!
[ENGLAND: “Lambeth Palace library to go online”
www.episcopalchurch.org/3577_82736_ENG_HTM.htm
and
www.lambethpalacelibrary.org).]
An enjoyable way to conclude the month!
MARCH 2007
On the first day of the month, just as we were about to begin supper, a telephone call came for Bob. A widow-neighbor’s boyfriend in another River Bridge neighborhood (there are about 18) was hospitalized, and his two, large puppies had been home alone all day, made a mess, and needed attention. Bob helped our neighbor deal with the situation, but came home with wounds on a hand and arm, because of the dogs’ intense exuberance. However, they were superficial, though unsightly. The saga continued the next day, and other arrangements were finally made.
We located a Coral Springs (FL) firm willing to take Rich’s comparatively small order of (395) pages to be scanned for his editing and loading within www.philosophy-religion.org. One of the items is a 1950s college term paper in religion (comparing resurrection with immortality) written by Bob – an “A” paper at that! Another is Rich’s first sermon in his home parish after his 1963 ordination there the day before as a deacon. Some of the writings are a couple of chapters from Rich’s dissertation that need to be revised. We found one 1958 paper jointly written for a course “Philosophy of the State.” To be completed at a leisurely pace, this whole project will take several months, perhaps longer. Each will note its date (from the 1950s to the ‘70s) and purpose; hopefully they will be of some help as brief academic treatments, however dated.
An adventure on the 5th! Because of some medical issues, since the fall of 2005 we haven’t been further away from home than North Miami. Unlikely as it is, we drove nearly 85 miles (two hours each way) to The John’s Island Club, Vero Beach (www.johnsislandclub.org). Why? A year ago Rich received a telephone call from Yale with an inquiry about our pending absence from a West Palm Beach Yale Club event. (We are both Yale Legacy Partners.) Rich explained that Yale invitations here routinely invite alumni and their spouses, and that if we were truly invited, the wording would have included alumni and their spouses/partners or similar. The caller was taken aback and was pleasantly insistent that the University did not intend to exclude anyone. In response, Rich said that he envisioned a gathering of elderly, radical, right-wing Republicans, and that we would probably not be genuinely welcomed.
This year a similar invitation arrived, and the wording was for alumni and their guests! That phrasing is as all encompassing as it can get. We felt duty-bound to attend, despite the distance. With the President of Yale on hand for the luncheon, the event sounded promising. Prepared with a cooler (containing a beverage and a small sandwich), pillow, and meds, we left home at 10:15 – a beautiful, sunny day in the upper 60s – and arrived right on time for the noon luncheon. As it turned out, the cooler became a necessity when low-sugar “jiggles” began to affect Rich about 11:30; by the time we arrived a half hour later, though, all was well.
Sitting at our table were the Executive Director of the Association of Yale Alumni and a University Development officer. We were pleased to be able to share with them the details of what brought us to the luncheon and the need for Yale to connect better with Divinity School alumni here. A few weeks afterwards the former wrote that he is to meet with representatives of the Divinity School to try to organize some activities on their behalf, hopefully in Florida!
The John’s Island Club, Vero Beach
Yale President Richard C. Levin
In front of the Yale banner Dr. Levin
reported current University developments to the Vero Beach
gathering.
Waiting in the mail at home was another response related to the final entry in Part 1 of this Christmas letter. University Archivist Nancy C. wrote, “On behalf of the New York University Archives, I would like to thank you for the materials you donated. The binder of materials related to your doctoral studies at NYU contains a good deal of information that will be of great interest and use for researchers of the Steinhardt School and of the Religious Education program in particular.” Out of curiosity Rich checked the NYU Archives website and discovered this mission statement:
“The New York University Archives serves as the final repository for the historical records of NYU. Its primary purpose is to document the history of the University and to provide source material for administrators, faculty, students, alumni, and other members of the University community, as well as scholars, authors, and other interested persons who seek to evaluate the impact of the University's activities on the history of American social, cultural, and intellectual development.” (www.nyu.edu/library/bobst/research/arch)
|
It is gratifying at this time in our lives to receive invitations to leave a few remembrances of our lives in various places. Whether in directories, websites, archives, alumni magazines, or whatever, it signals to both of us that we have made some modest contributions affecting, however minutely, some individuals and institutions. This feeling might seem immodest, but it is such a reversal of how we started out together – with so much in secret, stressful, and unnoticed. To have lived long enough to experience the beginnings of a greater acceptance of human diversity is truly heartwarming. To be able to offer some of what we have learned (academically, professionally, and personally) is a privilege. Age and credibility do have their rewards! |
After receiving the appreciative comments from NYU, Rich was motivated to review his six, heavy-duty binders of professional records; he confessed to Bob that he had forgotten about so many of the experiences!
He also heard from Dr. Samuel Brown, Director of the Max R. Traurig Library of Naugatuck Valley Community College (formerly Mattatuck Community College, Waterbury, CT, where Rich was based fulltime 1969-92), “We are in the process of organizing the college archives and would be happy to take all of your Mattatuck-related items.” Two of the binders were sent to him on March 9th. Dr. Brown acknowledged their receipt and new “home.”
Within the month, Dean Mark Pendleton of Christ Church Cathedral, Hartford, welcomed the bound, relevant items for shelving in the Cathedral’s library.
Rich’s documents from The Litchfield Institute and Saint Paul’s Church, Bantam (within the Town of Litchfield, CT), thanks to our friends Ann and Terry McGurk (Litchfield residents and St. Paul’s parishioners), have been received enthusiastically by the Litchfield Historical Society. (www.litchfieldhistoricalsociety.org) Along with the audio cassette tapes received by the Yale Divinity School archives, everything has now been suitably located. Additionally, the Thomaston Historical Society has some items from our online Scrapbook; the town was Bob’s hometown. (www.thomastonhistoricalsociety.com)
www.10couples.org with our video interview, along with nine others, is now available on an educational website sponsored by the ACLU (which is often to the left of us). The direct link is: www.10couples.org/stories.php?cv=DickandBob
Yale Divinity School’s winter issue of Spectrum arrived in the mail with our picture and description: “Dick Nolan '67 M.A.R. looks forward to reaching age 70 this May, and celebrated 50 years together with his partner, Bob, in 2005. The two regularly participate in the life of St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Lake Worth, FL, where Dick is a non-stipendiary retired priest-in-residence. Dick also serves as a chaplain to the parish's Integrity chapter and continues to edit www.philosophy-religion.org and has an online scrapbook at www.nolan-pingpank.com.” Hopefully, some other GLBT Yale Divinity alumni will feel free to share their news with the alumni office.
On Sunday (11th) right after he went to bed, Rich was hit by a case of the chills. We are very puzzled about the cause of this infrequent occurrence. However, true to form, the major effects included persistent fatigue (along with appetite loss), this time right through Wednesday. During these unwell days Rich received an invitation to write a book review for a national, weekly church magazine – which he declined, given health irregularities.
Bob set up a newly arrived Sony device that will transfer our many VHS tapes to DVDs. This will be another long-term - but very worthwhile - preservation project!
On Friday (16th) we completed a prearranged, joint telephone interview of more than an hour with Carlin C., a writer for an alumni periodical of our alma mater Trinity College. An article will appear in the summer edition.
Our aquarium was dismantled on “St. Patrick’s Weekend.” It was disappointing, but to maintain it well requires an excessive amount of time, energy, and expense. Its new home is in an elementary school where a friend is teaching. We must add that keeping life as simple as reasonable (nothing to do with the Lent!) is an ongoing endeavor. It is still too easy, especially for Rich, to initiate or perpetuate certain extras that can become taxing.
Public lectures sponsored by Florida Humanities Council’s grants and held for the past two years at Saint Andrew’s have been very successful. To give thought to the 2008 series we met (22nd) with Margot E. (who coordinates the superb programs from beginning to end) over lunch in her home with Fr. Paul and FAU history scholar and fellow parishioner Dr. Ben L. A productive meeting! We realize that this is not an effective parish recruitment device, but as Paul noted, people are becoming aware of St. Andrew’s and the significant, varied events associated with the parish.
A new and different experience! After we enjoyed Saturday (24th) lunch at TooJays, a New York style deli at the Wellington Mall, Bob did a quick errand while Rich sat in a central waiting area. A fine looking man in our age bracket sat down opposite him and struck up a conversation and then moved to a different chair, separated by a table, on Rich’s left. He had just finished a brisk, exercise walk twice around the mall, chatted a bit about fine health, and mentioned that he was 77. His wife of 55 years had died about 5 years ago, and he had remarried two years later; he has adult children (one of whom is 59 – which he is getting used to!) and a dozen or so grandchildren. This guy was bubbling with genial contentment and said, nodding slightly at Rich, that he likes to hear other people’s stories. Rich said that his is very different, that he is gay, and his partner of 51 years is doing an errand while, because of the hard tile floors, awaiting Bob’s return. Not a change in the fellow’s demeanor; no hard swallow or diminished smile! Bob showed up at that point, and some pleasantries were exchanged as we congratulated him, especially on his grandchildren of which he was so proud! As we walked toward the mall exit, Rich commented with a slight chuckle that this outgoing chap has now probably heard it all. We wondered aloud if he might be more cautious in seeking out others’ stories! Perhaps not. Nonetheless, he most likely had a new one to share with his wife when he arrived home!
On the last weekend of the month the annual Lake Worth Pride Fest was held under beautiful skies and very comfortable temperatures. Margot coordinated the many aspects of parish participation. This year we staffed the St. Andrew’s (Integrity-Palm Beach) booth only on Sunday from 2 to 4. A much larger crowd (10,000 over the two-day period) was on hand, and more people than ever visited the Saint Andrew’s tent.
Our
debut as “male models” appeared in the Pride Fest 2007
Directory; our photographer’s ad (we’re at lower
left- not lower center!):
St. Andrew’s Pride Fest booth – Laurel,
Rich and Bob
In response to a general request from the UK office of the Rev. Canon Philip Groves (facilitator of the "Listening Process" for the Anglican Communion’s efforts to come to grips with global differences in sexual ethics), we sent him a note via e-mail with our Scrapbook website’s address and a link to a relevant essay on our philosophy-religion.org/. Within an hour he thanked us for our contribution and wished both of us well. Very gracious!
The month was brought to a close with a welcome note from Christ Church Cathedral, Hartford’s Dean Mark Pendleton about a new Cathedral policy:
Parish Committee Resolution on the Pastoral Ministry for Persons in Same-Sex Relationships
“Members of the Parish Committee met on March 20, 2007 to continue discussing the decision by Bishop Smith to permit a pastoral ministry in the diocese for persons in committed same-sex relationships. After honest and prayerful discussion and review of the discussion at the Dean’s Forum on February 4, 2007, it is our collective discernment that offering blessing to a same-sex couple would be consistent with our pastoral ministry to all of our members.
-
Resolved, the Parish Committee of the Cathedral asks Dean Pendleton and our Parish Committee Chair and Vice-Chair to consult with Bishop Smith about our desire to begin offering pastoral blessings to same-sex couples in the near future.
-
Further resolved, that we encourage the Dean and the Parish Committee leadership to be intentional about offering special gatherings and times when they can be available to listen to the concerns of Cathedral members who might have further questions or concerns about this new ministry.
The motion was made, seconded and approved (no votes opposed).”
APRIL
Passover began at sundown on Monday (2nd). Although
Jewish residents are in the majority in River Bridge and many
homes display a variety of seasonal flags, we are the only
household that hangs Jewish related flags.
Lunch as Vance’s guests (3rd) was most enjoyable at the nearby Roadhouse Grill. Catching up with his plans for eventually relocating in Mexico was fascinating. Vance was a major founder of Integrity-Palm Beach and its first convener – with a 5-year term.
A unique fund raiser for CAP [Comprehensive Aids Program of Palm Beach County, Inc. www.cappbc.org] offered a 7 p.m. mini-cruise (5th) with a cocktail buffet aboard the Caprice.
As it turned out, we left early – just before the buffet was served, because Rich wasn’t feeling quite right. Until that point, he had been fine all day. Fortified with delicious, unique hors d’oeuvres, we were home before 9, and, as it turned out, the boat remained at the dock as a result of heavy rain (the first in several months). 110 had indicated that they would be in attendance. Regardless, the dining room felt crowded with too many tables seating what seemed to be a maximum crowd. Truly, 75 would have made for a more hospitable setting. Nonetheless, early on we had the opportunity to chitchat with a number of people, newly met and previously known. Moreover, it was interesting to see the well-appointed three floors of the yacht.
The next day was Good Friday (6th).
During the morning Bob was able to take their picture as they rested together by one of two gates to their “doghouse” – the connecting kitchen and family room (with view of the lake). Some dog house!
We arrived in good time at St. Andrew’s for the twenty minute segment (2:20-2:40) Rich was scheduled to preach on the final of the Seven Last Words of Christ. The three-hour liturgy was just too long for us. The congregation of two dozen seemed attentive, although it is very difficult to know whether anything said had connected. We left at the conclusion of Rich’s part.
See www.philosophy-religion.org/reflections/good-friday-2007.htm.
The early morning sun
partially brightens our Easter flag.
With clear skies and a very cool 50 degrees at 7 a.m., Easter Day was celebrated at home with a family Eucharist in the dining area and an unusual noontime Easter dinner: Italian meatloaf and rigatoni! We had not “broken bread” at home for quite some time; the principal Feast of the Christian calendar was, for us, a reverential occasion of simple worship – including the rite of mutual “laying-on-of-hands” for healing – a touching moment in many respects. (Rich continues to be plagued by periodic low stamina.) We again used the blue ceramic chalice that Dorothy A. brought to us from Canterbury, England, years ago and the paten we ordered afterwards. (www.canterburypottery.com)
During Easter Week, we finalized our funeral Service leaflet; what better season of the year to take care of that – and not under stress! We remember well how the preferences of survivors (gay and straight) were overridden by a rector who remains a liturgical terrorist in a certain Florida parish. If our pastor were away at the time, or retired, we could end up with an insensitive, pastorally inept “expert.” Our liturgies will be simple – no Eucharist – inspired by the late President Ford’s National Cathedral Service – but without “tributes” and the more elaborate music only a cathedral can provide. Fr. Paul has a CD with the leaflet and copies of relevant directions and notations. He has assured us of full compliance, which we really appreciate.
Also during Easter Week the New York Times ran an article “The Perfect Bacon Sandwich Decoded: Crisp and Crunchy.” Research from the University of Leeds (UK) “concluded that the best bacon butties were made with crisply grilled, not-too-fat bacon between thick slices of white bread.” (“Butties” is a UK word for sandwich.) “The study also considered a broad range of condiments (like ketchup and brown sauce) and spreads.” Rich’s London-born maternal grandmother had introduced him to crisp bacon sandwiches (with ketchup) as a child, and we both enjoy them weekly (with ketchup) for breakfast. We took for granted, wrongly, that this was just one of our secret eccentricities. Breaking from tradition, though, we do use turkey bacon – for reasons of health.
The Miami Herald called (12th) during the late afternoon and interviewed us (among others) for a story on aging gay men. We guess that word is getting around about our seniority! The decently written article is posted in the Bob and Rich subsite. Every observation seems to transcend sexual orientations.
To Legal Seafood (on Friday the 13th) as Ray H’s luncheon guests, and the next evening Bob went to St. Andrew’s for the 6 p.m. Service and Integrity. The following day Tony and Arthur, with Don (a charming friend of theirs), visited and took us to luncheon at Café Boulud at the Brazilian Court, Palm Beach. A delightful time with great conversation and an outstanding brunch! We so appreciate friends’ understanding that we generally need to have our main meal at midday.
Inside seating, Café Boulud
In Rich’s continuing effort to simplify his study, we delivered (18th) a large carton of philosophy books to the Boynton Beach office of Barry University. A former Barry student Kathy W. is director of the two University sites in Palm Beach County. Students can help themselves gratis.
Rich took a real age test honestly at www.realage.com. The results came in at 90! Later, Bob did the same thing and was rated age 71.3!
One of the youngest of four turtles we placed in our Egret Lake
a couple of years ago pays a visit almost daily. The waterway is
quite sizable throughout River Bridge, and we don’t see the two
larger ones (deposited 12 years ago) very often. (The ugly ridge
was caused recently by the ridden huge lawn mower that barrels
through weekly.)
While food shopping, Rich came across a never frozen, 13 pound Butterball turkey. At 6 a.m. on Sunday (22nd) Rich was preparing the turkey for the oven, when Bob unexpectedly arrived in the kitchen to see whether any help was needed. Rich thought not, but Bob spotted that the turkey-in-waiting was upside down (from the usual cooking position). We both had a good laugh, and into the oven it went. At noon a bird just a bit too well done was ready. Rich suspects that he mistakenly used roast beef cooking directions; consequently, well-cooked! J
Dogs do communicate and dream! At least ours do. Early (on the 24th) – about 2 a.m. - another infrequent distressed barking, this time from Tenno. His anxiety spilled over onto Comes. Bob took them both out, in case it was a “p” need, but, although they obliged, anxieties persisted. Well over an hour with them to no avail, Rich opened their gates, so that they had access to the whole house, and he went back to bed. Sleeping was difficult, though not for Bob – who is a deep sleeper. They paced as if they were trying to avoid an unknown menace. When Rich finally awakened about 7, Bob reported that both were sleeping peacefully in a usual spot – with no apparent anxieties. However, later in the morning Bob discovered that Tenno did need to take a gigantic poop; constipation and/or a tummy ache had apparently been very uncomfortable, and he was letting us know at 2 a.m. Occasionally during their afternoon naps, Comes, in a deep sleep, will whimper; a gentle awakening seems to cure the disturbance. Clearly their brains do not turn off while they sleep, just as ours continue in varying modes of activity. We are convinced that now and then their dreams are upsetting – and they do ask for help – even in the middle of the night. How human!
|
Rich e-mailed a note to a distinguished Anglican theologian on the faculty of Oxford University. The gist of his note was that when our Lord highlighted the Summary of the Law, “he did not even hint that there might be different levels of faithfulness required of bishops and less commitment by lesser creatures. It seems to me that all Christians are equally bound to this covenant. [Marvelous Saints can be found in all Orders of ministry (which includes the lay Order), and horrid folks as well.]” Rich asked whether it is episcopal arrogance, or elitism of some sort, to target bishops who might be "failing" to live out their baptismal vocation in certain matters, but to ignore the rest of us. “Why should Bishop Robinson alone take the heat for his family life from ‘preservers’? Surely the ‘unity’ symbolism of the episcopate should not be elevated over basic Christian morality as expressed in the Summary! (That symbolism is pretty vague anyway.) Shouldn't Bob and I be under attack, too - along with the countless other lay and ordained, partnered - or otherwise not chaste - LGBT Anglicans? Yet, not one ‘preserver’ has ever consulted us about what it might mean to live as a gay, male family, nor has anyone objected to us, despite our public openness ---- as far as we know. That all gay men are identical in every aspect of their lives is nonsense, though a few ‘preservers’ are tossing around ‘certainties’ about all sorts of stereotypical notions about gay, male behavior!” The theologian responded on the same wave length, noted that Bishop Robinson has become the lightning rod on the gay issue, and wished us well. On matters of faithfulness to Christian living as stated in Christ’s Summary of the Law, we would say, that we are all equally called, whether bishop or layperson. Somehow, along with our hierarchy of Orders (which should be depicted more horizontally as distributed functions rather than vertically as levels of importance) we have invested bishops with greater moral responsibility than the rest of us. There is no way that this can be supported by Scripture. |
Unplanned, a luncheon trip (on the 25th) to Testa’s in Palm Beach provided another local adventure. (www.testasrestaurants.com) Great food and a balmy porch day! An internet p.m. picture:
Testa’s porch daytimes – where we sat
Impulsively the next day we drove to the Anchor Inn Lakeside (in Lantana; a half-hour southeast) for the “early bird special.” We arrived just before five, and all the window seats had been previously occupied by “earlier birds.” The food was, as always, very good. An apt description: “Nautical themed décor on the shores of Lake Osborne serving an imaginative seafood menu.”
from the parking lot – an unassuming building
from our table
the same view as above - from outside
On Saturday, after lunch at the Olive Garden, Rich cancelled his subscription of many years to the New York Times. The home delivery service had become unsatisfactory, and there seemed to be a local indifference to that dissatisfaction. Even the telephone 1-800 Times agent (not in India, but a well-spoken male) was curt with regard to the cancellation. One would think that it was money out of his pocket! Actually, surfing Google News and similar resources provides “all the news that is fit – and unfit – to print.”
MAY
Comes – looking a bit proper – on his 12th birthday,
May 3rd
Such a pose during the same hour!
As of May 2nd a whole year passed without a hospital admission for Rich, the first in four years free from hospitalizations! Three cheers!
Rich learned from his Oxford University Press editor that the publisher plans to keep the 9th edition (1995) of Living Issues In Philosophy in print, but that a new edition is unlikely. He commented that the core of the book is not timebound, so its currency should not be an issue. Nice to hear about its timeless quality! He is its only living coauthor of the three; the book was first published in 1946! The 9th edition is approaching its twelfth printing!
|
Rich contributed a thought to the blog Thinking
Anglicans
(http://www.thinkinganglicans.org.uk): “I do suspect that ‘narcissistic personality disorder’ is at
work among many of the current disputes in the
Anglican Communion and Episcopal Church. If so, all
the issues under discussion are quite secondary.
What methods, then, are workable toward
reconciliation and
resolutions?
(www.mayoclinic.com/health/narcissistic-personality-disorder/DS00652) He thinks that much of the vigorous opposition from global (including the U.S.A.) “preservers” is psychological in nature – which makes for rather fruitless attempts at rational discussions about tender issues among Anglicans, no matter how prayerful. Perhaps exceptionally capable psychotherapists need to be included formally among future deliberators! |
Two and a half hours sped by over Saturday luncheon (5th) with our cherished friend Trish W. at a West Palm Panera Bread eatery. (www.panerabread.com) So much to chat about! Pictures of her granddaughters were beautiful. In addition, the food was super!
Trish commented on the increasing adoption of children by gay and lesbian couples – as well as arranging for biological offspring - and asked whether we had ever considered adoption. We replied that this seems to be a recent added dimension for same-sex couples, begun long after our early adult years.
Rich mentioned that all couples (straight and gay) inclined to be parents ought first to take care of a dog for a few years, because a child deserves so much more love and care than a pet. Too often people of all sorts are naïve about childcare. If they cannot handle pet care, they ought to reconsider their parental inclinations. Also, they should ensure that they are not simply in search of some sort of pet or activity to keep their lackluster marriage together.
He also remarked that while Bob would have made an excellent father, he himself was too career oriented to serve well as a parent. Bob added that Rich is likely to spoil children – as he did to a degree with Ken. (See “Ken” in the “Friends and More” subsite.) In any case, both of us agreed that it had never entered our minds, and we have no regrets about that! The dogs are more than enough!
Trish and Bob after our luncheon
Trish and Rich
While on an errand in Delray Beach (on the 8th; about 25 miles south), we stopped for lunch at Boston’s On The Beach eatery. (www.bostonsonthebeach.com) From the “Upper Deck” we had a great beach view. The food was only o.k., but the setting was terrific. (Photos below)
Photo taken from our table. Compared to the people, note how
huge the waves were! Radio announcements had warned swimmers and
boaters about dangerously high waves. A very few local surfers
were having a great time.
“Benny’s On The Beach” - built on the Lake Worth Pier - is
excellent for breakfast and lunch. The 2nd story
screened-in porch – with terrific three-way views - was
enjoyable at lunch (12th) even on a hot, hazy/smoky
day (from drought-related, northwestward fires). Always a
breeze! The severely (hurricane) damaged pier is still not
repaired.
In addition to our lake’s turtles, fish, and an occasional alligator, each spring we frequently find these birds (as well as, rarely, ugly vultures) in the lake or in our yard:
 |
 |
 |
| Blue Egret | White Ibis | Mocking Bird – Florida state bird |