I’D PREFER NOT TO

by Jane Wesilus
January 18, 1967

Ms. Wesilus wrote this essay at the conclusion of an introductory philosophy course taught at the Hartford Campus of the University of Connecticut. As she submitted the essay to Dr. Nolan, she remarked with good humor that she realized that she was philosophizing about not philosophizing! Her clever, almost poetic, commentary reflects the weariness that can accompany one’s initial journey into philosophy.

     I'd prefer not to ask a question, because then I'd have to find an answer, and I'd prefer not to have an answer, because then I'd have no way of knowing whether or not it was true or real or right or wrong, so I'd prefer not to ask a question.

     I'd prefer not to consider the meaning of truth, for in "truth", I might be enhancing the chances of telling a lie.

     I'd prefer not to decide what is right or wrong, or good or bad, because what I do right today may be wrong tomorrow, and then for all my sins I'd go to heaven and for all my kindness I'd go to hell.

     I'd prefer not to think about heaven or hell or even purgatory, because I might never die, I just may fall asleep.

     I'd prefer not to think about whether or not God is dead, because, if I do, I'll be admitting he has once been alive, and I'd prefer not to think about God being alive, for if I do, I have to decide which God is alive, or whether all gods are alive, or whether some are alive and some are dead.

     I'd prefer not to talk to you, because if I said "see," you'd think of the ocean and I'd think of eyes, and even after I explained, you'd think of blue eyes and I'd think of brown, and even after I told you I meant brown, you'd think of brown with red hair and I'd think of brown with black. I'd prefer just not to talk to you at all than to think you couldn't understand.

     I'd prefer not to know you any better, for the person I think you are and the person you think you are may not be what you really are at all, and I'd prefer not to have to decide, because I like what I think you are.

     I'd prefer not to think about the axiological significance of ontology, for all things may exist but have no value, or nothing may exist but a valuable conception of non-existence; but I'd still prefer not to think about anything at a11, I'd prefer just to live and not think about life.