ST. MARY'S HOSPITAL SCHOOL OF NURSING

Waterbury, Connecticut

CLASS NIGHT ADDRESS - JUNE 18, 1992

Friends and Members of the St. Mary's community; it was in 1982 that I had the privilege of addressing participants in this very event. I feel honored to have been invited again - which means that (a) my hosts do not remember I had been a speaker once before, (b) I am known to be dependably brief for such affairs, (c) a canon of an Episcopal cathedral about to retire from full-time state employment would incorporate medieval, ecumenical, and public sectors, all in one chair, (d) regardless of other considerations, one would simply expect - within St. Patrick's parish boundaries - a Flanagan to invite a Nolan, or (e) all or none of the above! In any case, I am delighted to take part in the Class Night Program of this eightieth commencement celebration.

In all vocations of human service, caring about individuals as persons is fundamental. As professionals taught within a Christian or humanistic curriculum, we believe firmly that patients, parishioners, students, and clients are never objects, but always wondrous human beings, in the context of St. Mary's, "children of God." Easier said than done!

For two years during the 1960s, while studying, I taught 5th through 8th grade boys in the elementary boarding school of New York's Cathedral of Saint John the Divine. Anyone who has been responsible for the well-being of resident choirboys, even at a cathedral, is ready to affirm the most harsh interpretation of original sin and the limited effects of baptism. Vested in the cathedral, they looked and sounded like angels. At night in their two dormitories (wherein the story Lord of the Flies must have originated), I was supposed to see to it that the twenty or so 5th and 6th graders - housed in the massive room next to my own windowless bedroom - would sleep well and on schedule. By mid-fall of my second year, I reacted to them as if they were imps-from-below rather than children, and I submitted a timely resignation! In April of this year I returned to the school for its 90th Anniversary. In the hallway where they used to line up for inspection before meals, I saw little Stephen, now much taller and about 40, walking ahead of me with his wife. "Stephen," I said mocking my own schoolmaster's manner. Something deep inside of him seemed to freeze with terror, as he came to an abrupt halt and spun around - perhaps for another scolding. He looked puzzled, and I reintroduced myself as his former dormitory and mathematics master. After warmly greeting each other these many years later, he said, "You know, Sir, you once whacked me on the hand with a ruler!" I cringed. We chatted a bit more, after which he joined his alumni friends. I then located the school secretary, who supplied me with a large ruler; with a hearty laugh Stephen accepted my invitation and provided a ceremonial slap across my right hand. [Incidentally, I've always credited the Kentucky-based Dominican Sisters, my elementary school teachers, with my familiarity with that disciplinary measure!]

How we would all like to undo those occasions when we treated people entrusted to our care as less than children of God! Mismatched with a job (as I was), exhausted, or allowing our "buttons" to be pushed, we sometimes react to individuals we are called to serve as if they were things or objects, even enemies. I had the unusual opportunity of being absolved by Stephen for an incident I had long forgotten, but I wonder how many others are buried in my history. I can recall vividly some other occurrences during my life, moments when words were my weapon. Please don't misunderstand me; I am not suggesting that we regularly beat ourselves up for our imperfect behavior. Living peaceably with regrets, humanly forgiven and unforgiven, is a factor in all of our pilgrimages. However, acknowledging our lapses can help us reclaim our professed ideals.

For the two years prior to living in New York, I was on the faculty of a Connecticut boarding school - while at the same time studying for ordination. A part of my job was to serve as a resident dormitory master for about twenty high-school age students. This was my very first post after college. I devoted myself to their well-being, worked well beyond the call of duty, watched my seminary grades tumble, and suffered physical symptoms. My adviser, a truly pastoral professor, called me to his study to explore the causes of my poor academic performance. With not a little pride tinged with a righteous sense of martyrdom, I told him of my self-imposed obligations to the boarders. I expected his praise for my dedicated selflessness. His guidance was gentle and constructive; I can't remember his words, but if he had wanted to clobber me, they could have been phrased along these lines: "Who appointed you omnipotent, omniscient god and savior of these students?" "Whose needs are you really meeting, theirs or yours?" "Do you have an exaggerated sense of responsibility?" "Is your need to be needed at a neurotic level?" "Aren't you yet able to sort out your priorities and manage your time?" "Richard, you're suffering from spiritual arrogance and vocational addiction." Whatever he actually said, he provided me with a much needed jolt and balance; my grades improved, and amazingly the boarding students' journeys continued.

You and I hear "Love your neighbor" all right, but many women and men in human service vocations tend to forget the remaining words "as yourself." Certainly, we are called to care for others as "children of God," but to care as well for ourselves, for our own well-being as children of God. Thomas Merton expressed it well, "To allow one's self to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit one's self to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. Frenzy destroys our inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."

Members of the Graduating Class, you and I are about to begin new adventures. I am concluding thirty years of full-time teaching to savor leisurely and selectively a buffet of personal and vocational delicacies (and, I regard tonight with you as my point of professional transition). You are about to be launched into a changing, sometimes stormy, always challenging ocean of health care. None of us will radically change the world or be able to offer our skills in ideal circumstances. However, we can leave a legacy of touching some lives for the better and of being touched as well. I should like to propose a prayer that might be useful as we begin each professional day accompanied by the proper Spirit:

"Come, Holy and Infinite Spirit, warm my heart, open my mind, and strengthen my will for loving service to your daughters and sons entrusted to my finite care. Deliver me from spiritual arrogance, and grace me with self-regard. I pray in the Name of the One who lived fully the love of God, neighbor and self, none other than Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Amen."

Graduates, God bless you, and take care!